a loud house
by Bluengineer
Summary: Snippets of the Alexeyev/Blitzkrieg Household – the home of teenage disasters, petty arguments, russian yelling and boisterous laughter all in-between.
1. the alexeyev household

A silly little thing, I am weak for Found Family Tropes or any kind of Family Feels lmao JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY AND BE THE TEENAGE DISASTERS THEY REALLY ARE HHHHHH-

 _ **Aleksandra "Sasha" Alexeyev**_ and _**Astrid Rundström**_ are characters of my own creation and therefore the only thing I take credit for.

 _ **Warning for copious amounts of swearing and suggestive humour!**_

[Crossposted on my blog]

[more info below]

* * *

 _ **a loud house**_

It was almost ironic how time seemed to slow down when disaster was about to happen – infuriatingly more so, when you can't prevent the said disaster in time. So, with a painful sounding _thump!_ , Bryan slid another few inches forward on his belly over the wooden floorboards, arms outstretched as the expensive looking ming vase shattered into, what he felt like, a million of pieces. He could even feel the impact on his very finger tips, it made him both angry and irritated because oh _fuck_ , that particular vase was Boss Lady's _favourite_.

 _They're so dead._

"We're so _dead_ ," he muttered horrified, wide eyes still glued to the pathetic heap of shards in front of him. Behind him, Spencer made a sound between a terrified squeak and pained groan. The two teenage boys proceeded to look at each other with various levels of fear and Bryan was sure, Spencer's face journeyed through the entire stages of grief in a span of 10 seconds. He would've laughed if he wasn't so hellbent on trying to convince himself that all of this was a fucked up nightmare – Boss Lady will ground their asses well into the next _century_.

 _"What was that sound?"_

Speaking of the devil. They had to act quick if they wanted to keep their generous outdoor life privileges, so Bryan quickly heaved himself onto his knees and hastily tried to scrape the shards together, mindful of the sharp edges. He threw a panicked look over his shoulder.

"C'mon Spence! Help me, it was your fault anyway!"

To his confusion however, instead of helping him, Spencer's face went somber as the telltale sound of footsteps ascending the nearby stairs rang through the house. Slowly, Spencer backed away from Bryan, regret in his eyes as he shook his head. Bryan gaped at him.

"Spencer. Don't you dare–"

The blond stood within his room he shared with Ian, slowly closing his door, face hard.

" _Long live the king, Bryan._ "

"Spencer, I _swear_ – did you just quote _The Lion King_ at me?!" Bryan hissed, "Spence– Spencer, get your ass–"

The door clicked close and he could only stare at the door in absolute disbelief – betrayed, in cold blood, by his very own brethren. Was this how heartbreak felt like? He couldn't mull over it too much when a shadow fell over him. Bryan cringed.

"Is that my favourite vase?"

Oh _man_ , and he was really looking forward to that Friday Sale at the local Arts & Crafts Store.

* * *

Sasha lifted off the rattling pot lid, mindful of the hot steam emerging from underneath. She took a good whiff, smiling contently at the pleasant smell of food. Swiftly, she picked up the ladle she had put aside previously, stirring the contents in the pot. Attempting a taste, Sasha scooped some of the curry out of the pot, free hand clawing at the countertop next to her. After coming up empty, she furrowed her brows, finally looking away from the pot.

"Huh," she mumbled. Weird, she was sure she left the fork from before right there. Shrugging, she turned down the heat, checked the rice cooker and then opened the drawer where she put all her cutlery. There, she fished out another fork, only to blink, stunned, again.

Where did her wire whisk go? She could've sworn it wasn't missing before, she didn't even use it today. Now suspicious, she pierced a potato within the curry, blowing on it to dispel some of the heat before eating it. Deeming the curry ready, she went on to get the plates. To her surprise, when she opened the plate cabinet, she was greeted by the sight of the electric hand mixer.

"What on earth–" Sasha muttered, taking the utensil out of it's wrong spot, only to notice how much lighter it felt than normal. Then, as if on cue, one of the surrounding plastic shells dropped from its unscrewed position, allowing Sasha to discover that the entire motor was missing inside.

A beat of silence. Then, she turned her gaze towards the ceiling.

" _IAN!_ "

* * *

Snickering, Bryan took in Tala's dismayed look and the split lip the other was sporting. Meanwhile, Sasha was busy brewing tea and fussing at the same time.

"I can't believe you punched that kid at the festival!"

Tala grunted, "He deserved it."

The woman gave him an unimpressed look.

"Well," Bryan drawled, "the guy did try to kiss Astrid without her permission, he had it coming."

"He deserved more than a punch," Tala grumbled further, leaning his head back against the couch. The Alexeyevs had decided to visit the local festival for a fun day and a chance to meet up with one of Sasha's former daughters, Astrid Rundström, a sweet but incredibly shy young scandinavian woman, who had left the household to attend her scholarship at a prestigious art school abroad. She had been the first ' _sibling_ ' the boys had met, and though the woman towered over almost half of them, her personality was meek but kind. And despite initially low-key teasing her constantly how her looks didn't match her character, Tala had taken an incredibly protective stance on her – sure, the other boys did too, Ian was even ready to deck the guy at the festival after Astrid had broken into a fit of anxious tears, but Tala had always been the one to fend off unwanted attention.

"So you just break a guy's nose?" Sasha's voice brought him back from his reverie.

"He also lost a tooth," Bryan informed unhelpfully her, which earned him a scornful glare from Tala. Realising his mistake, Bryan shrugged as if to say ' _my bad_ ' and ducked out of the living room, back outside.

 _The traitor_.

Tala heard Sasha sigh and he watched how she craned her neck to look out of the window – no doubt trying to see if the others were still outside. Spencer and Ian had taken up the task to calm Astrid down, the youngest pelting a joining Bryan with snowballs in an effort to make Astrid smile again. The redhead prepared himself for a long lecture, when a small bag of special festival-only dried chocolate-covered strawberries was shoved under his nose. He looked up to see Sasha grinning down at him.

"Don't tell your siblings, Pretty One," she said, winking, "good job on that jerk."

Tala snorted, taking the bag and opening it eagerly – he had a taste of them before and they were absolutely delicious.

"You're so full of shit, Babushka."

He got another bag from Astrid later, who smiled down at him serenely.

* * *

" _Bryan, you absolute piece of shit!_ "

Tala's screech greeted the entire family seated at the table in the morning as he came thundering down the stairs. Sasha, halfway through her usual morning tea, immediately looked up, appalled and ready to rip her second eldest a new one. That was, until she saw his face.

"Ay, Pretty One, what happened to your face?" she blurted out, causing the rest to finally turn around. Ian snorted into his cereal, immediately cackling loudly as he pointed at Tala, whose usual clear skin was now mottled with what looked like green paint. Spencer avoided eye contact altogether in favour of trying to conceal his twitching lips. Bryan, however, unabashedly grinned at Tala's misfortune while taking a huge bite out of his peanut butter-strawberry jam toast. Icy blue eyes immediately zeroed in on him.

" _You_ ," Tala hissed, "you did this!"

Bryan only shrugged, finishing his toast.

"Dunno what you're talking about, Red, but I hope that teaches you not spill juice on other people's sketch books."

"Oddly specific for someone who doesn't know what's going on," Spencer muttered behind his mug before taking a gulp. Sasha put her hands on her hips, ready for a lecture but Tala interrupted her as he leaned forward, glaring at Bryan with such ferocity, the other actually started sweating a little.

" _I shall piss on everything you love_ ," he threatened and Bryan would've laughed if he didn't know what Tala was truly capable of. Ian sniggered again.

"Kinky,"

Spencer choked on his drink.

" _IAN!_ "

* * *

"Guys, this is a bad idea."

"Spence, you always think it's a bad idea."

"Yeah, because that shit usually blows up."

"Hey, you gotta sacrifice some things for innovation!"

"Well, your innovations always catch fire, Ian."

"Uh, no they don't."

"The automatic potato peeler."

"Self-serving coffee pot."

"Automatic can opener slash jellybeans dispenser."

"Oh god, that one was a mess."

"You guys are all shitheads, you know that, right?"

"Shut up, pipsqueak, and fire it up."

"Don't tell me what to do, Bryan!"

"10 bucks says it's gonna blow up."

"You're on, Red!"

"Oh, fuck off, guys."

"If you ain't moving, I'll do it myself then."

"I– _wait_ , Bryan, no! That– _ouch!_ That is very sensitive, you can't just–!"

"Eh, what could go wrong?"

"I really hate when you say that."

"Zip it, Spencer. Bryan, turn…whatever that is on."

Sasha sat at her desk in her workshop, sketching up a new watch design, when a sudden explosion shook her room. Not a minute later, a barrage of angry russian floated through her open window, followed by roaring laughter. She shook her head, chuckling slightly.

My, what a handful they are.

She left her seat, sticking her head out of the window.

" _Boys!_ "

* * *

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it – let me know in the comments!

 **FURTHER A/N:**

This story has been crossposted on my beyblade sideblog, but because the whole thing somehow blew up my nice formatting, I decided to publish it here too so my readers can read the full piece WITHOUT THE UGLY TEXT BLOCK IT HAS BEEN REDUCED TO (yes, i'm still bitter).

My beyblade blog can be found under _.com_

Want to know more about Sasha and how she got involved with the Blitzkrieg Boys? Find her on my blog under the _Bladerfile_ button (OC Tag) or under her individual tag _sasha file_.

 **QUESTION** : With more space here – what are you're thoughts on making this a multi chapter/snippet collection?

Have a wonderful day everyone!


	2. of right hooks and apple slices

Well guess who managed to get something halfway decent together lmao

Anyway, guess _a loud house_ is now becoming a multi-chapter! Don't expect a whole worked out novel, this going to be just a collection of wholesome Found Family goodness because I say so and we deserve it. As per usual;

 _ **Aleksandra "Sasha" Alexeyev**_ is a character of my own creation and therefore the only thing I take credit for.

Warning for copious amounts of swearing, some violence and suggestive humour!

[more info below]

* * *

 _ **of right hooks and apple slices**_

The public property damages might be just immeasurable with how everything was in shambles around Kai. He gave himself a mental shrug – it could be worse, like an out of control spirit threatening to shroud the entire world in darkness. And it wasn't like anyone paid attention to the mess right now, they were all too busy celebrating Tyson's triumph over Brooklyn, cheering and hollering with glee. Even Blader DJ and his camera crew, that had miraculously escaped unharmed, had their lenses trained onto the growing crowds of people gathering to congratulate the champion. Somehow, the world felt all normal again.

Kai watched the crowd ahead, a feeling of pride swelling up within his chest. He turned his head to the side to see Tala being joined by Bryan and Spencer – all three of them were still wearing a few bandages, Tala the most of all. Well, next to Kai that is. He hadn't bothered with checking the wrappings too much after his own battle with Brooklyn.

"Oi, loner!" Out of habit, he glanced down to a grinning Bryan. "Get down here, man."

And Kai did, descending from his perch to join the Blitzkrieg team. He was greeted with small smiles and he knew, they all the same thing in mind; BEGA's reign was over, and so was Boris' new attempt on brainwashing countless of children into his evil machinations. Things were starting to look up again, and for a moment, Kai allowed himself to feel content.

" _Guys_!" A familiar voice called out to them, young and croaky from just finally braving puberty. "Hey, guys!"

Ian was running towards them as fast as his short legs could carry him, his face pinched in worry until he was sure that he was really seeing his brothers up front. He broke out into a genuinely bright smile – a gesture that Kai had never seen on the youngest until now. Briefly, he wondered how much had changed for the four boys he had shared the horrors of the Abbey with. Doubly so, when Ian pretty much flung himself into Bryan's open – _when had he opened them?_ – open arms, the force of it making them spin briefly. Bryan barked a rough laugh, his grip not faltering as the boy clung to him.

"What's up, kiddo? Glad you could join the party!"

There was a grumble and Ian freed himself from the hug, throwing a small punch to the elder's stomach. "Shut up, you jerk! You guys just left when everything went to shit!" He groused, but there was an odd shimmer in his eyes – _I thought something happened to you guys_.

Tala snorted, using a hand to ruffle up the mop of purple hair. "As if we'd miss the battle of the century, pipsqueak." – _We're fine, I promise_. Despite sticking his tongue out, Ian looked relieved and started flitting between the small group, until his eyes landed on Kai.

"Yikes," he said, pointing at the bandages Kai had almost hastily wrapped around himself. "They weren't kidding when they said you looked bad. Mom will definitely blow a gasket when she sees you."

Spencer groaned a little. " _Please_ tell me she isn't on her way here. She'll tear us a new one if she sees us here when we're supposed to be in the hospital."

"Too late, she was the one who noticed first that you guys were missing." Ian revealed and Kai watched how his teammates almost sagged in defeat. Bryan sighed mournfully.

"Well, it was nice knowing you guys. Anyway, Spence, it was me who ripped out a page from your copy of _Pride & Prejudice_."

"I knew it!" Spencer hissed. "And you son of a bitch told me it was Ian!"

The youngest looked flabbergasted, before he scornfully faced Spencer. "Wait, if _you_ knew that it was _Bryan_ , then why did you yell at _me_ for it!"

Tala only rolled his eyes at the upcoming argument, not even bothering to intervene and instead let them sort this mess out by themselves. His gaze fell onto Kai, who, silent as ever, stood by and stared at them with an unreadable expression. The redhead elbowed him, the move far more gentle than it used to be. Lilac eyes zeroed in on him and he gave Kai a small smirk.

"A real change of pace, huh?" Tala wasn't blind; he knew what the halfway baffled looks were for whenever an outsider saw the boys interacting amongst themselves. How odd it must look on them, to argue so freely over the smallest of things, to talk about trivial things – to appear so ' _normal_ ' when not too long ago they had acted like heartless, mindless drones, optimised by the Abbey and Boris. Their freedom had been good to them. And, not that Tala would ever admit to it, so had been that damn _Babushka_.

A nearby croaky cry of defeat snagged the group's attention and Kai could feel his shoulders grow tense; Boris, on his knees, left behind and ignored by his new 'soldiers', who joined in on the fun of celebrating Tyson's victory. Once again, Kai watched how Boris' carefully crafted empire crumbled, his underhanded tactics exposed and his handpicked team of Champions defeated – victory never felt so satisfying as it did now. That, until the man's head snapped up to glare straight at him and the Blitzkrieg team.

" _You_ ," Boris hissed, getting to his feet. "You did this, you insolent brats!"

As he stood, Kai silently told himself that he was not afraid. He wasn't some little boy anymore, groomed and conditioned into a soulless soldier by his own grandfather. He wasn't about to bow his head in submission to this man, this towering and menacing figure in his reoccurring nightmares of cold, dark hallways and looming threats of punishment and pain should he not obey. He was done with the abuse, with the scars, with the hell he and the others had been forced through as mere children. He was not afraid.

And yet, as Boris stalked over to them, rage palpable on his form and fists clenched, the ice-cold spark of fear pierced through Kai's walls as he watched his childhood monster approach them.

 _He was not afraid_.

"Stay behind me." Bryan's tight voice shook him out of his upcoming silent panic. Kai allowed himself a startled blink, when he noticed how the other four had suddenly pulled together, staying close, faces hard and wary. Bryan somehow had ended up on the front, left arm raised ever so slightly as if to keep the rest back. Tala stood close to his shoulder, looking a lot paler despite the burning fury in his eyes. With one hand, he held Ian, who almost clung to the redhead's leg in an aborted attempt to hide – Kai had never seen him so scared. Spencer moved in from the back, expression unreadable but one hand hovering just behind Bryan, in case he had to snag the other and haul him away in an escape attempt.

They stood their ground and Boris came closer and closer, like the old boogeyman crawling out from under their beds, ready to reawaken their childhood terrors. Kai could distantly hear Max' voice calling out for him and frustration grew within him; how can that _one_ man install such a reaction in one of the most hardened teams out there. They weren't kids anymore, they weren't soldiers anymore, so why– _why was there fear_?

" _Boris Balkov!_ "

The roar that ripped through the tense atmosphere might as well belong to an actual lion, Kai almost half-expected one to jump out of nowhere. Their heads turned to the source of the noise, and even Boris halted at the unexpected outcry of his name. But as soon as he turned his head, it was slugged right back around with a solid punch to the face.

"Holy _shit_ ," Ian wheezed out into the stunned silence as Boris stumbled back a few steps, holding his bloody nose until his vision cleared once more to see a short asian woman stomping up to him. Her fist was still raised for another punch, dark honey eyes ablaze with such blistering fury, which Kai had only ever seen on Tala.

"You sneaky, slimy son of a _bitch_!" Sasha thundered, her forceful stride never faltering. "How dare you show your face around here– around my _boys_! I ought to toss you back into that damned hell circle you spawned from!"

Near baffled irritation crossed Boris' features, too surprised by the sudden appearance and wrath of the woman. "I– who do you think you are? You–!" He didn't get to finish, when Sasha threw another punch, relishing the crunching sound beneath her knuckles as Boris went down with short cry of pain. She didn't give him a moment to breathe, hand shooting forward to grab his collar and, with a surprising and _scary_ strength, heaved him halfway off the ground to bring their faces closer. Somehow, it felt like he was staring down a dragon.

"Сука, I'm a _mother_ ," she hissed into his face, hot breath fanning over his skin like fire. "And if you try to put your hands on _my_ children or _any_ child ever again; you best believe, I _will_ end you."

Boris swallowed – he had a feeling this woman was not joking around.

"Mom!" Ian's voice called from somewhere off to the side. Sasha didn't break eye contact, but lifted her index finger towards her boys to indicate she was paying attention.

"Hold on, _milyi_ , Mom's busy right now." Her finger turned to point at Boris. "Have I made myself clear, you bastard? Pull a stunt like this again and–" She stuck out her thumb and cut it across her throat with a sneer. Sasha Alexeyev was out for blood and she made sure that Boris got the message as clear as crystal.

Big, warm hands found their way under her arms, almost lifting her off the ground. "Easy there, Boss Lady," Spencer tried to nervously placate his foster mother, firmly keeping his eyes on her and not his childhood tormentor. "You're making a scene!"

Sasha wiggled in his grip, her own hand not letting go of the rotten man just yet. "I sure damn hope so!" She hissed, shaking her fist in an attempt to have another swing at Boris. "I _will_ destroy you, you hear me, Balkov?! I will gut you like a fish!"

"Mom, them Feds are here!" Ian informed them, while trying to pull her back by her shirt. "They're coming towards us, Mom, you'll get in trouble!"

"The only one in trouble right now is this bastard right here!" Sasha spat as Bryan yanked at her wrist in order to pry her grip from Boris' collar. Her grip faltered, but before the man could scramble away on his hands, she still managed to kick him with her prosthetic right leg. The boys almost winced at the heavy _thunk!_ as Boris fell back, mind swimming from the pain exploding right under his chin. Tala, who stood close but out of the way, scowled down at the villain, surreptitiously half-covering Kai behind him. He clicked his tongue at the sight of uniformed men approaching.

They were immediately upon Boris, detaining him as swiftly as they could, granted they had to get around Sasha first. Kai could see these grown men in their prime almost cowering in front of the furious woman, who was held back only by the mercy of her foster children and the last shred of common sense.

"M-Miss, I need you to calm down–"

"Absolutely _not_! I will break this monster's joints one by one and make him _count_!"

"Ma'am, please…"

By now, a series of onlookers have gathered to watch the (admittedly _hilarious_ ) spectacle and the rest of the Bladebreakers have quickly joined Kai, faces worried as they stood close to their captain. The police have started dragging Boris away, one burly looking officer hanging back in order to try and curb Sasha's wrath. He wasn't very successful, seeing as he seemed absolutely terrified of the woman two heads shorter than himself. _Especially_ when she started throwing expletives in Mandarin after the criminal mastermind, making Ray next to Kai blush scarlet like Tala's hair. Said redhead groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"This is the best and worst day of my life," he muttered under his breath, when he caught Kai's raised eyebrow. "She managed to _sucker punch Boris_ on live television, but also she sucker punched Boris on _live television_ , which means–"

" _Solnishka_!"

"–and here we go."

Their audience almost sucked in an anxious breath when they watched how the woman reached for the redhead's face, gently cradling his cheeks, making him hunch a little awkwardly at the height difference. The three other Russian Bladers followed her as if tied together by an invisible leash.

"Did the bad man hurt you? Is _anyone_ of you hurt?" Sasha questioned immediately, previous anger diffused in record time as she yanked Tala's face around to check him on any new injuries. "Also, all of you are in _so much_ trouble for leaving the hospital, what were you thinking?!"

Without looking, one of her clever hands reached back to snag the back of Ian's collar as the youngest boy tried to sneak away, only to be dragged back for inspection. He wiggled.

"Don't lump me in with those doofuses!" He protested and got rewarded with a small smack to the back of his head from Bryan for his insult. Ian kicked his shin in retaliation and Bryan resolved into spitting curses.

"Boys, behave," Sasha reminded them absentmindedly as she checked over Spencer. Kai took the chance to slowly start inching away, entire form apprehensive as he carefully eyed the woman so freely touching his teammates – they weren't exactly the most approachable types, and yet. Here she was, just strutting up and making orders like she had known them for _years_. It just seemed – unnatural. The way the Blitzkrieg Boys just let her, a full-grown adult, fret over them. They all had been instilled with immediate suspicion whenever it came to adults; adults, who were supposed to be protecting kids, not beating them for every little mistake they made. So, it was only natural for Kai to stiffen instantly when honey eyes zeroed in on him.

" _Ay_!" Sasha yelped at the sight of him, bringing her hands up to her cheeks in shock. " _Daragoj_ , what happened to you?"

"Told you she'd freak," Ian muttered, looking off to the side innocently when his mother regarded him with a suspicious look. Meanwhile, the three older boys bit their tongues in order not to snicker at the endearment Sasha had thrown at Kai, who decidedly looked mildly confused to have a full-grown woman kicking up a fuss over him.

"That's it!" Sasha declared loudly. "Everyone back to the hospital, right now! For heaven's sake, _Solnishka_ , you have two cracked ribs!"

"I'm still standing, aren't I?"

"Barely," the woman growled, "don't make me carry you."

"Oh for fucks sake…" Tala hissed under his breath, starting his trek back begrudgingly as the others followed. Sasha then pinned Kai with an expectant look – she cannot be serious, right?

"Well? Do you need me to carry _you_?" Despite the serious question, there was a teasing glint in her eyes and Kai bristled slightly.

"I'm not–"

He was interrupted by Blader DJ bursting their bubble by shoving his mic between the two of them, a camera man following closely. A huge grin had nearly overtaking his entire face, eyes glittering with burning curiosity.

"Wow, Madam, that was quite the show you gave!" He half-hollered and Kai could feel his ears ring just by being in such close proximity. "Say, you all seem close! What's your relationship to the Blitzkrieg Boys?"

As soon as the question fell of Blader DJ's tongue, Kai could see Tala making an immediate heel-turn, almost racing back to them, the other boys not far behind – all of them wearing the same halfway panicked faces.

"Shit, fuck, no, don't answer that _Babushka_ –!"

Sasha, ignorant of the panic behind her, only smiled pleasantly and laid a hand on her chest with a proud glimmer in her eyes. "Why, I'm their mother of course!"

Kai could hear Tyson choking on his own spit behind him. "Their _who_ –"

"This is the best day of my life," Ray said with mischievous glee and Kai just watched how his teammates – battle-hardened, cold as ice, notoriously stoic teammates – went _pink_ with embarrassment as the crowd's incredulous gaze turned towards them. Tala only lifted a hand to hide his face from the camera.

"I'm going kill this woman."

* * *

"You're impossible…"

After being able to tug Sasha away from the limelight, assisted by the Bladebreakers, and wrangling their way back to the hospital, they'd all been deposited into a single room with enough beds for everyone and a doctor to promptly check up on all of them. Sasha looked up from her task of peeling an apple.

"Why so grumpy, Pretty One?" She only succeeded in Tala giving her a nasty glare.

"You've embarrassed us! On live TV no less!"

They started to bicker, so well versed if the effortless back and forth was anything to go by. Spencer, seated on top of a bed, only rolled with his eyes and continued munching on the few apple slices Sasha had prepared before. Internally, Kai wondered how come he ended up in this situation.

"What am I doing here…" he muttered under his breath, situated on a bed, bandages now wrapped up clean and properly. Bryan, who sat next to him in a chair, legs thrown up on another chair, scoffed slightly.

"Don't even try to get away, Boss Lady's as stubborn as you and I'm tellin' ya it won't end well."

Ian, sitting next to Spencer while fiddling with Seaborg in his lap, snorted derisively, but didn't comment any further. "That was mean right hook, by the way, Mom," he said instead, face gleeful.

"Of course, baby," the woman huffed, expertly cutting the peeled apple in half. "I was waiting to have a go at that bastard ages ago."

Spencer stopped mid-chew. "Seriously?"

"Who wouldn't want to punch him in the face?"

"Well," he inclined his head a little, "that's fair, I guess."

Bryan barked a loud laugh. "Don't forget she managed it on live fucking TV! We are so getting that footage, right, Boss Lady?"

"I'll consider it," Sasha responded with lightly pursed lips. "A Christmas present maybe." She handed the plate of apples over to Tala, who clicked his tongue.

"As if Bryan could behave until then."

"Hey!"

Ian sighed mournfully. "No footage for Christmas then, huh…"

"I see, you fuckheads have no faith in me."

" _Language_!"

"Uhm," Spencer pointed at a seething Bryan, half-eaten slice still in hand. "You broke like, five stress balls this year."

"So?" The eldest crossed his arms petulantly. "Last year it was twelve, dare I say _growth_?"

"Weren't like four of those in one month alone?" Ian supplied unhelpfully and Bryan waved him off.  
"Tch, technicalities." Tala ignored him, turning to Spencer.

"20 bucks says he won't make it."

"20 bucks on he'll last two months before he blows."

"You're like babies," Ian snarked, "I'll give him two weeks."

"пошёл на хуй!" Bryan belted out loudly as the other three sniggered and Sasha whipped around to give him a massive stink eye, little pocketknife pointed in his direction almost threateningly.

"That's strike number two, buster, do not push it!" The teen huffed angrily, slouching in his chair as Sasha regarded the other three with the same glare. "You three; strike one."

"Aw, c'mon, we didn't do anything!" Ian complained almost immediately, while the two older ones wisely kept their mouths shut and ate their apple slices.

It was chaos – they were all an utter disaster, Kai thought, watching them all bicker with their fangs glinting, but never biting down. They traded blows, yet never leaving bruises, so terribly dysfunctional but somehow fitting the teeth of their gears together so seamlessly, turning together despite all their missing pieces, creating this earnest picture of domesticity, of home, of–

Of _family_.

Something twinged in his heart, just a little bit, when he caught sight of Sasha's face; crowfeet crinkling in joy at the edges of her honey eyes and dimples framing her gentle little smile, all the while she listened to the little throwaway arguments around her, cutting bunny ears into the apple slices in her hands. She met Kai's gaze, her single jade earring catching the light, and she gave him a bright grin, like she was sharing a secret with him.

A sudden warmth flickered to life in his chest, and he looked away, feeling mildly exposed.

"Welcome to the family, asshole." Bryan mumbled next to him, small smirk on his face and Kai scoffed.

"Leave me out of this," he said, the poison usually pooled in his mouth now nothing more but sweet-sour syrup as Bryan made grabby hands for the plate Sasha had given to Kai.

Bunny-eared apple slices somehow always tasted better.

* * *

"Boss Lady, d'you think you could shank Kai's grandfather?"

"He's in prison, Bryan."

"Doesn't matter, darling, just give me an address and a knife."

"What the hell, _Babushka_ –"

"Yeah, go Mom!"

* * *

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it – let me know in the comments!

 _ **FURTHER A/N:**_

This story is also in the process of being crossposted on AO3, so don't worry if you find the same fics on that platform – you can find me on AO3 under the name _cosmoscrow_!

My beyblade blog on tumblr can be found under the name _bladengineer_!

Want to know more about Sasha and how she got involved with the Blitzkrieg Boys? Find her on my blog under the Bladerfile button (OC Tag) or under her individual tag sasha file.


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